who needs alarm clocks when you got kids? I swear. of course, who would set their alarm for 1:45, 5:30, and 6:30? Mia, that’s who.

We dropped mommy off to get a haircut. Then we went to a park and watched some people play tennis. We swung on the swings, and played in a wooden teepee. We saw a doggy, and a helicopter, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Then we went to Meijer where daddy bought a ball, and we took the ball to play outside on UIUC campus! We saw a fountain, and dropped tree seeds down a sewer grate, and watched some cheerleaders practice. Then back home for some good dinner, a bath, and finally to bed.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13860_3-10261742-56.html

You know, I have mixed feelings. I use Money 2002, because the newest versions were way, too bloated with bells & whistles. (Plus I already had a license and I didn’t wanna pay any more, especially after trying the trial period of 2007.) I religiously put my data into Money, but it has only been able to actually accurately do a couple things: Make pie charts of our spending categories, and provide a history of transactions better than the bank. After a year, it *sort of* predicts future cash flow & net worth, but applies it to the wrong accounts.

Completely useless were the areas where I was supposed to “Build my portfolio”, as all my various TIAA/CREF, Fidelity, American Funds, etc., are broken down into at least 15 if not more different actual “Funds” that have a stock symbol. I never took the time to meticulously add them in, except for once I tried it, and Money got the numbers all wrong. Yeah, yeah; garbage in, garbage out; but should it BE so complicated that I can’t “Just Do It”? So… Scrap the investment tracking.

The newest version of Money even went so far as to offer to automatically connect to ALL my accounts and download daily updates. It reminded me of the robust, vast array of drivers available in NT 4.0 Server: Though a huge list of providers appeared to be available, none of them were used by me, so that feature was useless.

Yeah, its sole purpose has pretty much been to see “Gee, how much did we spend on diapers THIS month?” but even such granularity could not be obtained, since diapers are always mixed in with other purchases that got labeled “Household” or “Groceries”.

I don’t know if 2007 or whatever the latest version has this problem, too, but money is also very bad at guessing what category a transaction should be if it has any type of unique number in it whatsoever, which 90% of them do. Very annoying.

So, in conclusion, I guess the only major thing I’d going to lose is the ability to see where spending has been in the past.

Now that I’ve got your attention, Yesterday Mommy had to leave early to go to IU for a presentation by her boss. Daddy got Mia up, fed, changed, and off to day care. Then he waited for the bus and went to work. At work, I mostly worked on the CCTV project with Debbie. she has a great new motorcycle helmet. It is yellow, and has a cool built-in G.I. Joe-style visor. For lunch I went with the work gang to Qdoba’s. But the music was horrible. To complete the “Qatmosphere”, Pat turned on the TV. there was an expose’ of Charlie Sheen. I remarked that he has the best hair, and if I could have Charlie SHeen’s hair, I would. Then I could no longer stand the Qatmosphere and left early. I went to GameStop to see how much Boom Blox Bash Party cost. It’s $40, a rip off. Then back to work, and then home. But for dinner I went to Zelma’s where they have $3 large two-topping pizza if you order 1 drink (alcoholic). So I got a beer. The bartender *almost* remembered my name, but he sure remembered what I drank (Sam Adam’s). His name is Buzz and he likes to complain about stuff. I often catch snippets of him muttering phrases to others such as, “If , i’m gonna get pissed.” I think it’s his way of generating large tips out of sympathy. I had a dream that I had committed a crime. There was no way I was going to get away; and the whole time I was thinking, “Why did I do this?!? I’m going to go to jail for 20 or 30 years!” The evil dream conveniently left out the decision-making part; I just had to deal with the consequences of earlier actions, NOT on my part. Perhaps I got the dream from an article I read where a guy is just getting out of jail after 20 years, who has now been proven innocent. I call it the “Shawshank Syndrome”. I feel really bad for those people.

I wonder if Max’s brother knows these guys… funny vid.

GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

While using the restroom, one is often at the mercy of the reading material within arm’s reach. Lately, it’s been “Parenting” magazine (Though a more apt title would be “Mom’s” magazine, as it is clearly marketed toward women).

So, as I perused this flimsy periodical, I find myself subjected to print ad versions of the very annoying “High Fructose Corn Syrup is Not Evil” ad campaign. My annoyance stuck with me, so I memorized the URL “sweetsurprise.com”. Here’s my Love Letter I fired off to them:

your ad campaign to de-villainize the proliferation of your product is pathetic. It only serves to underscore the bad reputation, and are insulting to my intelligence. I am quite aware that it is “Natural”, “Made from Corn” “Same as table sugar” in most respects, etc. THE PROBLEM IS THE PROLIFERATION OF YOUR SUGAR IN EVERYTHING. And instructing people to “not go back for thirds”? So, it’s the CUSTOMER’S FAULT that your product has proliferated so ubiquitously in the grocery store that I have to go out of my way to find products without it? You’re starting a marketing campaign to *counter* the marketing campaign created by the food companies! A person like me is simply going to see you all as the same entity anyway.

In conclusion, F*** You. Stop insulting my intelligence. Focus your monetary coffers toward other goals.

Hear ye, Hear ye, it’s time for yet another PHOTO ROUNDUP!

Whenever I see something noteworthy, and the proper neurons fire, and I remember to bust out the Cell Phone Camera, I get some …interesting… ( ? ) images…

So without further ado, let’s kick off this round!

—————

This first bunch is from a fountain outside the Illini Union. Would Purdue ever allow such risque nymphs on campus? …I doubt it. Their idea of art is more like… 100,000 red bricks.

April Fool’s Day in the Data Center!

Juffo-Wup is the power of life… hot warmth in the cold Void. It flows through all things, binding them together, making them one. You are Non-Juffo-Wup, you cannot understand.

…

Why– afraid I’ll skew the results??

Friar Tuck’s

…

Look Closely: (Click on pic for bigger version)

Haiku: You’re doing it wrong.

What would a backwards orgasm feel like?

The Robot strikes again.

Bleh. Monday night. 10:51 pm. I should be in bed.

I have had the Boomtown Rats’ song, “I don’t like Mondays” stuck in my head forever. First time I heard it, I thought it sucked. Now the damn thing is stuck there in my brain and I can’t… get… it… out!

Today they thought my name was “Randy” at Penn Station. RANDY. doesn’t sound a thing like Wayne.

Still trying to study more for the MCITP. scored my best yet, 67% on a practice exam; made some dumb mistakes where I out-thought myself. I hate that.

I can’t even type enough to get all my thoughts out. Then again, who would care? Nobody cares.

Mia grows. Unfortunately her sense of responsibility is nonexistent as of yet. It is frustrating to continually increase the amount of effort & maintenance toward this child, and she still yet isn’t old enough to learn boundaries. well, maybe she is; but I’m not going to punish her for innocent accidents such as playing with the plug as I’m vacuuming. she wouldn’t understand.

Today I asked the wife if I could go out & get some beer, she graciously gave me the OK. So, I quickly geared up & made a foray to Friar Tuck’s. While I was in there, I saw these two fat nerds buying a 12-pack of Guinness. Obviously a couple of girlfriendless nerdy students. I thought to myself, “I bet those guys wish for girlfriends more than anything, they wanna meet that special someone, get settled down.” but I got really nostalgic for my single past. It made me realize, that, perhaps, I will never be able to live the free-wheelin’ lifestyle that I used to. I didn’t really think I was free-wheelin’, but MAN was I. Of course, I think my wife helps motivate me to do things that I myself wish I had more self-motivation for; such as keeping healthy and staying focused on being a marketable individual with 1337 Skillz. The grass is always greener yesterday.

Now it’s 11:04. That means I spent 13 minutes composing this blog post. you better read it.

Somebody, anybody.

Care!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend we not only had an awesome practice with our new bassist Matt Riehle, but we got a limo ride into town and a free dinner (Well, on Mark & Autumn!!) at the Lafayette Brewing Company!

Unfortunately we all got sorta wasted, and practice went kinda downhill as time went on! Aargh! But we had a lot of fun! Our #1 fan, Billy, suggested a microphone get put in front of me. I liked the idea immensely, but drumming & singing simultaneously does take a bit more skill.

I have not uploaded new mp3’s yet, but you can always hear them at www.distempermusic.com/mp3s/. I personally would love it if we could get enough practice so that by October or so, we could actually be tight enough for others to enjoy.

The following morning, we headed to the Attica Country Club for breakfast… MAN! SO MUCH BACON!! I have never seen so much bacon- and it was actually GOOD. I had to limit myself cause I know bacon’s not the best thing for ya.