DISCLAIMER: I wrote this many, MANY years ago. Before I realized the truth.

10. They have a volume knob.

9. Their sexy curves don’t fade with age.

8. They don’t demand you spend thousands of dollars on ’em, but you do anyway!

7. You always know if you have the right pick-up!

6. People are more impressed if you say “I play guitar”, than if you say “I have a girlfriend”.

5. Blood doesn’t seep out of its hole every month (Unless you’re in Gwar).

4. You’re always guaranteed that it’s gonna make cool noises when you mess around with it.

3. Less hair on the neck.

2. You’re less likely to get pissed if your friends wanna mess around with it… well, maybe not!

1. If you can use all 4 fingers on a girl- it’s usually not a good thing.

p.s. the truth about women is that they will probably hate me for writing this, even if it was 15 years ago! 😛